


Look, Lapis, No Hands

by articulatez



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Implied Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe), Meep Morps (Steven Universe), Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 21:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20645861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/articulatez/pseuds/articulatez
Summary: Pre-movie, post-season 5. Jasper struggles to adjust to a life on Earth without violence. Oh, and she's still longing for Malachite and, by extension, Lapis.





	Look, Lapis, No Hands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheDandyCrickette](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDandyCrickette/gifts).

Human beings had a saying: Green with envy. She'd heard it from Pink Diamond's lover, Greg Universe. Unbelievable, that; a Diamond doing half the things Pink... Rose... had done would have been too much for Jasper even without corruption. Her life up til that embarrassing public bath of all kinds of gems -- Diamonds to Rubies to Pebbles to unauthorized fusions -- was her climbing rubble to solid ground, each time slipping as the mantle under her feet split again. Battles and revelations, shattered gems and truths slipping through her grasp. All she had was pride and after returning to Earth she couldn't rely on that either.  
  
After Rose (who was really her Diamond, who was really Steven) left for Homeworld and all her questions seemed answered Jasper was at more of a loss than ever. So the fighting was done forever. So Yellow Diamond would never send her on an assignment ever again. She had no identity, no fallen hero to venerate, no way to prove herself because these Crystal Gems accepted her without question. What a waste of her might and pride.  
  
And then there was her. Green with envy, motion sick and furious and wronged, that was Jasper when she remembered Malachite, a titan held down by the weight of the planet's oceans and Lapis's raw hate for her. No amount of groveling would bring back--  
Lapis soared above the beginnings of Little Homeworld. Observing the foundation. Observing the planet the gems had chosen to live on, though it would never be home for Jasper. Everyone must have looked as small as ants. She felt small, looking up at her. They didn't talk. Not even an acknowledgment of all the good she'd done, the martial arts class she organized for Beach City, her volunteering in making fighting pits for warrior gems like her left without anything to conquer. She'd listened to Amethyst, too, and tried human food.  
  
Tar was her favorite so far. It was great how it stuck to her teeth and tongue. She tasted it for hours. A mouthful of ocean water seemed like the one sure way to wash it out and set everything back to normal.  
  
Musing about the fading novelty in experiences like eating and sleeping, she didn't notice that Lapis had landed on the rail beside her, perching on her bare toes with her wings open and fluttering.  
  
"Hey," Lapis said.  
  
"That's all you have to say to me?" Jasper snapped.  
  
"So far," she shrugged. "If you're going to be a jerk I can go."  
  
Jasper flushed. In the liquid reflection of her wings Jasper saw what Lapis saw: an off-color quartz made worse by her slouched posture, horned protrusions, the green and blue splotches that she couldn't scrub off her skin. Lapis came out of the war shinier than ever. Everyone's new form was an improvement on their original birth except her. A freak among freaks, a gargoyle veteran.  
  
"I'll try, okay?" she said.  
  
"I had an idea." A small smile, the gentle movements of her wings, fluttering their hair. "You know, Jasper, for a long time I-- I hated you. I mean after you were gone and I left Earth. You were the last Gem to hurt me. That hate was all I had to hang onto."  
  
"This is what you came down to tell me?" she asked incredulously. "I know all this already! On that human ocean vessel you made your feelings about me and Malachite very clear."  
  
"Yeah," Lapis said with a sigh, "I think I'm done with fusion for at least the next century. But that wasn't the idea. Here." She held out one hand and looked at her so expectantly that Jasper thought it would be rude to balk or tell her to buzz off.  
  
The terraformer shouldn't have had the muscle strength to carry a properly sized quartz. Amethyst, sure. She didn't hesitate for a second before reaching under Jasper's arms and lifting her up into the air. The vertigo that hit her wasn't at all like the shifts in gravity on a ship dropping into atmosphere out of orbit. This was faster, the planet falling from her. She was probably about to be on purpose dropped to her death, the easiest revenge and she'd laugh all the way down because how stupid could she be.  
  
After a few minutes, to her shock, she was still dangling, looking at the green grass, the fields of flowers, the trees. Vegetation thrived on the planet Earth.  
  
Jasper looked up at Lapis. Blue on blue on blue. Focused and calm, the small smile stuck on her face like its own kind of corruption.  
  
"You're shaking," Lapis said. "Are you okay? I'm not gonna drop you."  
  
"I'm fine," Jasper said, shut her eyes, and hoped for it to be over soon. The roaring in her ears stopped when she touched down on dirt, and with the certainty of ground and Lapis not touching her anymore she could open her eyes and see a red, wooden structure with a truck, a clothes line, and other sundries hanging out of the building. "This is...?"  
  
"This is where I live. With Peridot."  
  
"Peridot." She smacked her forehead and wheezed with laughter. Peridot had tortured Lapis and they got to be... what, friends? Something else? Figured, on Earth nothing was in balance, there wasn't a reason for anything. It stung. Green with envy, green like Malachite who's never coming back. "Okay, let's get whatever this is over with."  
  
They went into the barn. The mess, sort of sectioned off and sort of spilled everywhere, featured plumbing fixtures, mobiles made of human sports equipment, several electronics, clothes, tin cans, hammocks. She took it all in, confused and pulling a face.  
  
"What is this?"  
  
"We call them meep morps. Steven says it's art. It's helped."  
  
"Helped? Helped with what, make a mess?" she sneered.  
  
"No, it-- Jasper, it helped me get over everything that's happened to me. Get over *you.*"  
  
"Me? You hated being Malachite, you said so!"  
  
"Malachite was who she was because of both of us. You made her strong, you made her a fighter. I'm not, I-- I missed that power. This was a way for me to feel something different, something better. Bismuth told me you're fighting, that your life on Earth revolves around it. I don't know, Jasper. Is it just more of the same?"  
  
Jasper narrowed her eyes and then looked away, embarrassed. Ashamed. She shrugged.  
  
"Vidalia does art lessons now. Here." Lapis pulled a small, rectangular piece of stiff paper out of her pants pocket and held it out. "Please consider it. I know what it's like. Earth. Losing Malachite. Surviving a war, kind of surviving."  
  
She swore she could feel steam come out her ears. How dare anyone speak to her like this? How could she make her stop? She snatched the paper out of her hand, grunted, "Fine, okay" and stormed out. To her credit, her former other half let her walk away and all the way to the beach where she sat and watched the waves where Rose Quartz had stood years ago, and both those gems carried secrets too big for anyone to carry deep inside them where no meep morp could reach.


End file.
